First Cause

Hey guys.

2006-04-18T11:25:00.000-06:00

I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop in to say hi. Well, I better get going now.
So long guys.

WTF, mate!

2006-03-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

Saw some friends today. Sadly though, it was the last place I would like to see them.

I have to stop and say that the whole "blog" thing feels very foreign to me. I guess I have had to focus so much on others lately that I'm having a hard time sharing what I think, even if it's only to the occasional passer-by.

I guess I can't do this right now.

I'm not dead yet!

2005-12-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Well he will be soon, he's very ill.

Hey!

2005-11-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get back into the blogging mood. It's not working so good.

The CEO at work, to be referred to as "Meine Fuhrer", put together a couple of new policies.

First the dress code. Any one not issued scrubs as a uniform will now be limited to about three choices of clothes. No longer acceptable are denim pants of any color, tennis shoes, T shirts, polo shirts, shirts of any kind with any logo including the hospital's own logo, shirts that do not extend to or past the pants line with arms stretched up over head... Get this, "Undergarments must be approved color and pattern." Did you see the little quote things in that last line, that's because it IS a quote. I wonder who gets the job of "Panty Inspector"? Hey wait, I kinda' like that one. The list goes on and on. Wedding rings and ear rings in the lobe of the ear are the only acceptable form of jewelry. Finger nail polish must not be chipped...

Now the good part. The Fuhrer in his infinite wisdom and caring has decided that all property owned by the hospital is a smoke free environment. Let me give you another quote. "All property owned or operated by (the hospital) is designated as smoke free. Staff, patients, visitors, contractors, and other guests of (the hospital) will be required to extinguish all smoking material upon entering (hospital) property. This enforcement area will include all lawn and walking areas and all private vehicles on (hospital) grounds." I don't know if you caught that last part. Any one smoking in their own car will be asked to put it out.

I guess all that's left to say is, "SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!"

Testing?

2005-11-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

If you can read this, it worked. If not, all hell has broken loose!

New look

2005-10-06T01:35:00.000-06:00

It has been brought to my attention that some of the larger images in my posts have caused some problems with good ol' IE. I think any one using IE should change to Firefox ASAP, but until then it seems the new look will stay for a day or four. This skin has more room for the pics, or has been made with better quality, or something.

Apologies are due to the fans of the Globex Newsletter and BOJ News Service. Now there is nothing to help you know you're on my page. I'll get something fixed soon, or not. Definitely one of the two.

To 67.158.1.142

2005-10-05T05:52:00.000-06:00

Since you are so brave to log on as an anonymous user, I'll be brave and send you a reply.

First, from the "George Carlin; v 2.0" post,
"TSA is a whiny assed fucking miserable little fuck shithead puke cocksucker who should not be allowed to write any FUCKING THING that can be viewed by any fucking one else...what a gucking dipshit! "
I'm not sure what gucking means, but I'm sure glad you joined in on the fun of talking Carlin style. Isn't it fucking great?

Second, from the "To SMB, and friends" post,
"u suck !
are you ever gonna learn more than 3 cords ?"
I'd like to take a moment to compliment you on your revolutionary new grammar. The "u" instead of "you" is old and over used, but the space between your punctuation, GENIUS! I think given enough time, all the cool kids will be typing this way . Kudos as well on not including capital letters. Now to answer your question, I have to be honest and say that I only know two cords, electrical and spinal. I'm sure there must be more, but I'll have to learn them later.

Finally, from the"O'zapft ist!" post,
"Deadwood last weekend was the place to be in the hills for oktoberfest"
What a nice invitation to a place that celebrates the last two days of a 17 day event. I'm just sorry you didn't let me know sooner. I hope you keep me up on the latest software updates to fight that pesky Y2K bug. I'd also like to formally invite you to my "2005 New Year Bash" on Friday and Saturday, Dec. 30 and 31. Oh, I'm glad to see the capitalization again.

Once again anonymous, if that is your real name, thanks for your input into my little blogg. You sure are brave and honest and deserve some kind of medal.

By the way, I hope you had fun looking at all the REAL news photos at the BOJ News Service, although that web page looks much better if you increase your screen resolution to more than 800x600. And Windows 2000? Smart folks like us need to upgrade. I also recomend Firefox over Internet Explorer any day.

It's True!

2005-10-02T16:32:00.000-06:00

I really don't want a pickle.

Meine Liebchen

2005-10-02T00:58:00.000-06:00

I made the purchase of a fine Bavarian motor bike today. 1979 BMW R65.
It kicks a little ass if I do say so my self. It has a few
beautification issues, but over all, I couldn't be happier.

To SMB, and friends.

2005-09-26T23:01:00.000-06:00

I knew I'd miss all the musicians and "musicians" at the open mic, but I didn't think I'd be missed.
First was the abuse from That One Guy. I knew he would be among the first to make me scared to stay home. Next was from the writings of SMB, that made me feel missed.

A lot of people come up to me after a "set" and say how much they liked me (and BOJ, of course) I like to hear that. My number one goal at any open mic is for me to have fun. BOJ and I have about the same definition of "fun", so he, naturally, is included in the goal. When I pull some unsuspecting bar-goer into the fun with me, I couldn't be happier.
The next level is to have one of the musicians say they like what I did. Musicians and "musicians" seem to be a competitive bunch, so I take their words a little more to heart than the rest of the crowd.
The pinnacle, in my mind, is to have a "super real, bona fide true" musician like the things I do. That would of course be SMB and GF1. For some reason, SMB has seen something in me for some time that he thinks is good. I don't know why, I don't' know what. I just know his support for me has been great.
I started the open mic a broken, shattered wreck of a guy. I think the only reason I played for the first time was because I felt like there was nothing I could fail at that would make me feel worse that I already did. SMB was great. I didn't get praise I didn't deserve, but I think he was nicer than most.
Over time I began to feel more comfortable on stage. Some of that has to do with experience, some with finding people to play with, some with SMB's good words. The first time he asked me and the "band" to play in their show, I knew I was worth something. That's the first time in a long time I had felt that way.

I think I'm a little sensitive to attacks on my morals and standards, due to the unfortunate events I've had to see. There are people out there who actually believe that I am a violent person and a wife beater. (Although all accusations are false, I don't know if I can claim to be an ex-wife beater, the chance hasn't come up yet.)

It's still a little strange to have some one really want me around for more that personal gain. I think reading SMB's latest post, I have to accept that I have some good things to offer. I miss all my friends at the open mic. I think some of them miss me too. To them I'm not some nice guy that's easy to take advantage of, but some one they like too see every week. Maybe it's to hear some good tunes, maybe it's just to sit and listen to all the crazy shit that I think up, maybe it's because they see me as a friend, I don't know. I knew I liked most of the open mic crowd, but, in my condition I couldn't see how they liked me. My distrust in people blocked me from seeing they care. To take up a few lines of SMB's blog makes me feel important, and like he cares.

I don't think any of the people involved know about this little page, other that That One Guy of course, but thank-you to all the open micers. SMB, GF1, TOG, BOJ,UBB, MDJ, SCT, and all the others I can't think of a three letter nick name for.
I WILL see you next week!

George Carlin; v2.0

2005-09-22T23:28:00.000-06:00

So, if you are one of the few people who read my blog every single day, you will know I'm not the biggest fan of what George has done lately. No, not that George, I'm talking about George Carlin. A while ago I mentioned how I saw a show of his that was nothing more than an excuse to curse and talk about drugs. Well, I had the opportunity to give the guy a second chance tonight on HBO.

Let me take a moment to "be like George".

So I fucking saw a bitch fuck some shit and I thought, hey, what the fuck! The P-R-E-S-I-D-E-N-T fuckin' fucks shit, so God-damned, fucking shit! If kids can smoke pot, shoot smack, and fuck fucking fuckers, than I should be able to make a sandwich in peace!

OK, so not a direct quote, but I think I made my point. Not only did he not make sense, but the crowd was "laughing" and "cheering" the whole time. I don't know if they really thought he had something to say, or if (like the majority of Americans) just does as they are commanded to.

I think many people in the crowd "laughed" and "cheered" just because he is, after all, George Carlin.
Again, I have to say, I am a big fan of what he has done. I'm happy he is who he is, or was.

When he came on the scene, he was breaking ground, pushing boundaries. Most of the boundaries he pushed are now accepted as common. "Fuck", "Shit", "Boobs", and "Fart" are said almost every where now. Even on the classic rock station I can hear Roger yell "Who the fuck are you?!"
Maybe we should focus on the crap that is wrong NOW, not what was holding people back 30 years ago. While people thought it was important that a person could say "vagina" in public (thanks Peggy Hill) and not be scorned for it in the past, now we should think it's important to save human lives from flood waters and rape gangs.

Yes, the Carlin thing was filmed long before any of the current hurricane problems, but still, I feel thinking you have a strong political objection just because you use 8 of the 7 dirty words, is wrong. If you can't stand the president, say so. If you think he is someone you could just throw out, than do so. (Just don't blame it on Yokey!)

While I think of my-self as more of a republican than any other party, I am pissed at what has been going on the passed several years. Many people in my situation have just said that when the "Prez" talks all American like, we need to cheer. When he says "9-11 happened and we are in war time", we just say "Damn skippy!"

This is all making sense to me. I don't know if I translated my thoughts into understandable keystrokes, but a lot has been happening lately to make me mad, and (as Cecil would say) "The teeming millions" just seem to want to follow the bright flashing "applaud" sign, no matter what has been said.
Maybe it's just all come to a point that I can't stands no more, or maybe it's just that I love to celebrate the real Oktoberfest, but I feel the average American clings to what is told to them is right, wrong, cool, popular, funny, or even moral. If only people could think a little for them selves and not be a slave to MTV, we would be in a much better place.

By the way, the Blogger spell check is not a fan of "four letter words". The thing is a joke any way, but is sure was fun to see it try to correct "fuck" into "Fuji".

O'zapft ist!

2005-09-17T13:06:00.000-06:00

That's right friends, it's that time of year again. As of 4:00 am local time, Oktoberfest is on like the German version of Donkey Kong. It also should be noted that not a single place I know of, including the Bavarian restaurant in a near by town, is doing any thing about it. I guess the only place to celebrate for now will be at my house. Feel free to stop on in.

I hope you're happy BOJ, I used some links in my text.

More advise.

2005-09-14T22:18:00.000-06:00

I hope every one checks out the WWN link at the bottom of my posts with in the next couple of days. The feature really hits the bull's eye on why I love "the paper". It's an article about how pro athletes should be able to use steroids. I don't think they should, but I love this article. It happens to be written by one of my favorite columnists, Ed Anger. How cool is it that a guy with the name "Ed Anger" writes about being mad. Talk about, well, what ever the opposite of irony is. You see, (listen up Sheryl) ironic would be a guy by the name of "Allan Affection" writing about being mad. That, my faithful readers, is ironic. I really do think.

Any way, check it out. Check out WWN on-line and at your favorite convenience store as often as possible.

Helpful Hints

2005-09-11T13:52:00.000-06:00

This is the first of many "Helpful Hints" posts. They may not always be helpful or true, but they will always be hints. To celebrate this amazing new idea of mine, this post will contain not one, not three, but two hints!

First, you can save time at the microwave, it's true! Instead of punching in "1-0-0" for one minute, type "6-0" instead. By typing one less number, you can enjoy your food faster. This works for all times from 60 to 99 seconds, or from one minute to one minute and 39 seconds. Try it next time you use your microwave.

Second, a tip from the ever thinking CCG. When we needed a cold beer fast, and there weren't any around, she suggested pouring the beer over ice and shake it in a shaker equipped with a strainer to pour our nicely chilled beer into a glass and leave all the ice behind. Unfortunately, she didn't a drink shaker in the house so I couldn't test this one first hand.

If you have any "Helpful Hints" and would like to share, get your own blogg and copy my idea. Wow, that's almost like a "bonus" hint.

Skunk as a drunk.

2005-09-08T22:22:00.000-06:00

I had a rough day at work. So I ame home to have about 5 shots of Jager und a bout anoyhe 4 bkeres. dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
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Oops, guess I passed out there, sorry

Bob Denver, 1935-2005 v2.0

2005-09-06T22:12:00.000-06:00

I almost got done with a great post about how I love Bob Denver, when my G.D. internet connection went down. Good thing I wasn't in the on-line casino! (Bad taste, I know.)
In summery, he was a "real" guy, not some "Hollywood type". Maynard G. Krebs was my first, and all time favorite character he played. Even though Gilligan messed every thing up, he loved every one.
Bob wore the "Gilligan hat" almost every time I saw him in an interview. He knew how much "Gilligan" cared. I think Bob Denver cared as much, if not more.
I'm not sure if I saw him many other times than as "Gilligan" or "Maynard", but I feel he was a hell of a guy. From what I have read he loved to help people and family. We need more Bob Denvers.

The morning after.

2005-09-05T12:10:00.000-06:00

Last night was the first night of my little protest against Cheers. It would have been fun to see all the regulars, even the irregulars. Some people just don't get the right amount of fiber. I think I'd have felt worse being there though. We probably would have played the usual hand full of songs since work, again, has kept me from any kind of practice, on or off stage, with BOJ. Oh well, maybe this week. I'm not trying to put Cheers out of business, not that I could, but I know of five people, not including me, who did not go to Cheers last night because of what happened. That's kind of a good feeling in a way.

In bigger news, every where you look it's all about the hurricane. People are being blamed for all kinds of things. I even saw an article about how God hates the city of New Orleans and that's why every thing happened. If God hated New Orleans, why did He have to take out so many other people and damage "Non" Orleans property? I guess those people were all thinking of moving to New Orleans to start practicing Voo Doo? I'm a little nervous for my own safety, because I've been heard many times asking for a ride Louisiana to get a mojo hand. Come to think of it, I haven't seen BOJ in person since the hurricane hit land. Just more proof that we live under a vengeful, angry God with poor aim. Or maybe it's just that the Earth has weather patterns that when given the correct mix of temperature, moisture, and air currents can cause a butt load of damage. I don't know.

I'm not trying to make light of the situation. I think some of the blame people are throwing out there is undeserved. I don't think any one person is to blame. The ball was never picked up to begin with, so no one could have dropped it. The facts about what would happen to New Orleans in just this event have been known for quite some time. Some of the evacuation plans never sounded good to begin with. BOJ and I were sitting at the same table when we heard the Super Dome was to be used as shelter. Neither of us could really understand how that would be good. We never actually thought about "real life" consequences that ended up happening, but we agreed Super Dome full of people + hurricane= bad news. Something need to be done by some one before the hurricane hit. I don't know who that would have been, but my sights are on Louisiana/New Orleans government types. They should have been the first to protect their people by getting them safe BEFORE the storm, not after. Again, I'm no expert, but it did seem to me that evacuation planning was kind of poor. I know that help was/is slow. Many mistakes were made by many people. I feel sorry for all those people who have lost family, property, and confidence in the government that was supposed to protect them, but to blame one person, or even a couple of people is being a little closed minded.

25 or 6 to 4

2005-08-31T01:01:00.000-06:00

What the fuck does that mean!?!?!?

DK said it best...

2005-08-30T00:36:00.000-06:00

MTV get off the air, NOW!

Fuck you too.

2005-08-28T23:49:00.000-06:00

First off, many apologies to Shawn, Gary, Doug, Terri, That One Guy, and any one else who for some reason finds it not the worst thing in the world to be in my company, but it will be a long time before I will be back at the Cheers.
For the past couple of months I get charged all kinds of amounts, usually too much. I don't mind much. I'm sure some one accidentally got a drink on my tab. I'll pay for it just because I can and I don't want one of my favorite places to loose money. Twice have I mentioned to Terri that there was a problem, but when I do she makes it right. I'm sure I have been charged less than what I owe on some occasions, I'll make that up in a nice tip for the staff.

I usually like to tip the Cheers staff well. They have to put up with a lot of crap, and the people who are most likely to give the crap give little in return. I give a little more because I know many people have given less. I've had a hard time doing that lately.

First off, its a chore to get the attention of a server. Tonight alone, I heard "If you see the waitress before I get back, I want..." at least three times. Guess what, no one got their order placed before they got back. Also, several times I heard "I'd love a ____ if the waitress would ever show up." I, myself, even got the chance to remind Gerri, (oops, real name. At least the name on the tag.) that I ordered a drink some time ago and never saw it. Of course that was blamed on Miranda. (There goes the name thing again there Edith!) Miranda forgot to get it ready. I don't really care what happened. I was in no way mad at the wait, it was kind of nice that I could make a joke.
But when my intelligence has to be insulted week after week, I get upset. I have a tradition at open mic there. Three tall Guinness and one short. I've done it for a long time. Yes, there are times I stray, but not often and not with out thought. Old staff, staff that had been there for a while, didn't even have to ask me what I wanted. Some nights I never ordered a thing. They knew when I came in what I wanted, how many I wanted, and when I was ready to pay. Yes, that was above and beyond the call of duty. I don't expect that from any one else. When a person thinks they need to argue with me about my intake and accuse me with trying to cheat on my bill "all the time", that's a load of crap.

I already payed too much, and now feel tipped too much, for the night when I mentioned to Gerri that one of the forgotten drinks made it to my bill. I just wanted it to be known. I expected nothing in return. A table mate of mine (name spared here) mentioned, maybe jokingly, how AT LEAST one forgotten drink could have been on the bill. That's not to be taken as fact, just that the lack of service is noticed by more that just me. Miranda make it clear that she thought I had SIX tall and the short, and how I "pull this all the time".

First off, I weigh 150 pounds. 166 ounces, (1.3 GALLONS!!!) of beer would have quite an effect on me. Most people drink cans of beer. If I drank cans of beer, that would be almost 14 cans of beer. Again, speaking in cans, that would be about 4.5 cans per hour, or roughly about one can every 15 minutes for three hours, the time I was there. That's the low end of the estimate. Even with my tolerance, I can not drink that much and still stand upright.
Second, I could not have drank that much because it would have taken twice that long just to place the orders! I did not see Gerri enough times to order 7 drinks.
Last, I only had to pee once, and that was soon after I got there. As every one knows, you can never really buy beer, just rent it for a wile.

Does any of this matter? (I love the "asking the question" thing) No. My estimates may be off, I don't care to double check right now. What I do know is that for quite a while I haven't felt good about spending money in Cheers. I guess the attitude and incompetence of the staff has been wearing me thin lately. So sorry again to all the people I love to see every week, but it's going to be some time.

Just so I'm clear as mud...

2005-08-27T23:28:00.000-06:00

I want to let every one know how I feel.
Most people I see at work just need some help. Maybe a loved one passed away, maybe the every day stress just became too much. I'm happy to see those people. I was, and to a small extent still am, in a situation when waking up in the morning is down on the bottom of the list of things to do. I never made a deliberate attempt to die, but I knew doing some of the things I did would have a good chance of that happening. I'll do what ever it takes to help some one in that same situation feel better. Some times it's bringing in the guitar and playing some music, some times it's just joking around and reminding a person how to laugh.
Some people have what I call "faulty wireing" in their brain. They need medicines to help keep things "normal". (I don't use that word much.) I like them too.
I see people, mostly kids, who have been put threw more crap than any living thing on this planet should be put threw. They need to know that not every adult is out to hurt them. They need to know how to play and be a kid. They need to feel like a person. These ones get to me the worst. Nothing makes me as sick as when I see a kid who thinks sexual, physical, and mental abuse is every day stuff.
Some people I see should not be there. They know how the system works and how to get to my place instead of jail. They don't care about any one but them selves. They will lie, cheat, hurt others, what ever it takes to be as comfortable as possible. These people have no interest in getting well. No amount of help will get them to turn around. I still try. My job is to help people laugh and forget about their problems for at least a little while. I will do that for every one who comes in our doors. If for some reason I get threw to one of these people, that's great. In my career I'm bound to help at least one of these people turn their life around. I don't want to think that the one person I could have helped, I ignored. I'll try for every one.

It's like a bluff in poker. I know I can't win, but I'll put every thing I have into it on the chance that the other person thinks I'm right.

Speaking of poker, I won tonight's game against two new comers. The new people alway seem to win for some reason. I rule.

Lately I've been seeing mostly the person who thinks they need no help. Every one else in the world is wrong, they're the only one who is right. Some of these people would be just as happy to kick me in the nuts as to play a game of cards. I guess it kind of takes a lot out of a guy.

I love my job. Some times I leave work feeling good, some times I go home and cry.

Maybe there's hope?

2005-08-27T09:27:00.000-06:00

I see a wide range of people in a day. Yesterday I was playing with a 5 year old kid who's only "problem" was fighting with DSS when they came to take him from his parents. Did DSS need to take him? Yes. It seems his parents had a little "mom and pop" operation working out of the house, the manufacturing and distribution of methamphetamine and methamphetamine accessories. Was he wrong for loving his parents even though they were poisoning him and setting him up for a life of crime and drug abuse? Not really, he's only 5. He's a good kid. I hope the system works for this guy.
I also see the other end of things. A little later in the day I went to see some of the father stabbers, mother rapers, FATHER RAPERS?! I was talking to one of meanest, nastiest father rapers of them all, and he said he saw me with the kid. We were outside playing with some bubbles. I made a big loop out of a wash cloth to make some "big mother bubbles" (that's how the kid described them)
All the other times I've talked with this drug usin', crime findin' guy it's all been talk of hate, killing, drugs, jail... This time he came up to me with a smile. He wanted to know how I made such big bubbles. I told him the recipe and how to make the loop. It as like I was with a different person. He was so exited about this he had to ask for some paper to write down the directions.

I like to think that I can still find pleasure in the little things. Smelling flowers, blowing bubbles, watching silly cartoons. I feel lucky for this. When someone like this guy makes a 180 over a little thing, it makes me think maybe there's some hope for this world after all. Did I change the life of a criminal, saving him from the dark side? Most likely not, but I did give him a moment of pleasure, and possibly something to do between crimes.

And now the thing you've all been waiting for, the "Andy Welvrig bubble recipe for success"!
Take about one cup Dawn per gallon of water. The loop can be made of any cloth, but I find an old pair of jeans cut in 1 inch strips works best. Make the loop as big as you want, soak it in the bubble solution. Pull the loop out of the solution, make a big bubble and enjoy!

By the way, Bubbles is not out of jail and asking for my number. I have a feeling that's some sort of "joke".

Because he told me to.

2005-08-25T10:38:00.000-06:00

This post is for That One Guy. There are only a few people who can make me do things. Cartoons, That One Guy, and my dominatrices.
I know its been quite some time since I posted last. I guess I just don't have the inspiration to do much. My "happy face" mask I use for work is getting old and torn. Even though this blog isn't known for uplifting tales of happiness, it seems that to make a decent post I'd even have to candy coat the things I type.

Hide and Seek always pissed me off. No one wants to be "it". "It" sucks. Most kids I grew up with would quit the game if they became "it". Than there's the rest of the kids. What kind of "game" is it when the goal is to have as little interaction with the other players as possible? When ever my friends wanted to play the game I was always the best hider, because I'd just go home and watch cartoons. Ok, so maybe I was just a quiter or a cheater, not so much a hider.
Lately I've gotten good at hiding. To good. I've hidden parts of me so good that I'm having trouble finding my way out of my internal repository.

Public Reply to PEN

2005-07-27T13:26:00.000-06:00

This is a public reply to PEN. I resent your comments in my blogg, and would like you to stop causing fear and confusion in cyber-space.
I can not go into detail, because hearings are still not over in my case, "The Majority of the Fine Hoochie Mammas in Vermont v TSA", but I am the victim of a class action law suit brought against me due to the overwhelming number of injuries I caused during my 2004 vacation. Al I will say in my defense is that they should have known something was "unusually enormous" when I insisted they only look at "it" in a side mirror off a 1978 Buick.
That is all, ya hump.

It's vacation time brotha!

2005-07-25T22:49:00.000-06:00

Yep, that's right I'm officially on vacation from work. I have two weeks to do what ever I want. What are my plans you ask? Not much for now. Play as much music as possible. I think a trip to the Twin City area is in order. Other than that, not much else.
Goal one was started today. I went to an open mic I can't usually get to. It started out quite bare, but it was still good. While deciding on songs, a lady came in with her little girls (I'm guessing they were hers) one about 8 and the other maybe 5. We decided to play Rollin' and Tumblin'. Doug started with the harp, as usual, and one of the girls started dancing. By the time I came in they both had danced some, and they continued on and off until we were done. I'm not sure why , but for some strange reason, playing music that made a couple of little girls happy and dance just might be the best thing I can remember happening to me while on stage.
I always think it cool to see big old bearded biker guys laugh at some of our stuff. I like when the "ladies" giggle at Vibrator Dependent. It's always nice to have real musicians say they like what we do, but tonight I got the best compliment ever. I'll never tire of seeing a smile on a kids face. Even though work is almost always emotionally draining, there is usually one kid that I know I'm helping to make better. Some times that is the only thing keeping me going back.

Have cartoons lied?

2005-07-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

I'll be the first to admit I love cartoons. I like how any silly idea can become a reality. Let's face it, nothing is better than seeing a huge boulder fall on someone's head, and they become an accordion. That's great!
But I did see something tonight to make me a little wary of people who love cartoons. (I know, that would make me a self-hatin' toonist) It was a show on the Weather Channel. They were interviewing some people caught in an F3 tornado. There were some tales of bravery, like the mother who risked her life to find her son. She pulled up in the family roadster to pick him up just yards from an under-ground shelter, then turned the car around and drove back towards the tornado. Now she feels lucky to be alive. (OK in case I didn't make it clear yet, I think the mother is an inbred piece of chowder head. What ever that means) I guess after that story, the next comment shouldn't have phased me.
The next story was about a good ol' boy and his lady. She loved the animals so much, she refused to take shelter because the horses "seemed scared". Well it was about that time that, well that ol' boy looked up to see an F3 tornado just a few houses away. "It kind of surprise me", he said, "It's not what I thought I'd see, not like a funnel, like on the cartoons."
This fella was at least into his late 30's. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I plant to keep loving cartoons until the day I die, in fact I hope every one who speaks will do it in a super fast "Speed Racer" style. "Andywasnice, hewascool, howwewillmisshimallthetime, oohhh." That would be sweet.
On the other hand, I don't get much of my information from cartoons. I'd say no more that 37%, max. It's just like the news papers. Some are liberal, some conservative. Only a few papers tell the truth. You have to know what to believe, what to take with a grain of salt, and how to fold 'em.
I know rabbits eat carrots and helped our brave WW2 pilots to fight off gremlins, but I also know that a sailor would never eat spinach in real life.

As the guy who said, "Here's the point." once said, here's the point. We all have to be responsible cartoon watchers. Don't believe every thing you see, but be sure to keep an open mind. Final example, never saw a tree branch while up in the tree itself. You never know which part will fall.

I see a big ol' cloud!

2005-07-13T00:21:00.000-06:00

OK, that's only funny to me for reasons that federal law prohibits me to talk about, but man it is stupid funny!

While looking at the stats tonight, I found that my little blog has been hit by three searches. One was from a place in Keystone, on a night I was there, at an engine I was searching at.
OK so I used a computer there to search for a result I knew would be mine just to see it on the stat page. It was still cool to see.

The second one was the best because it was the original joke about search engines. Some poor schmuck from Kentwood, Michigan who searched Amazon for "Teeth, plaque, conspiracy, metalica, justin", got one link, to me. The time page said he stayed for 0-5 seconds.

Finally, I got a link from some British place called "Tiscali Search". I feel bad for him too. His search got a result from a comment, of all things. The comment was from the "I could use a Car" post. The person posting the comment used the name, "Asian-Bukaki-Girl". (and now for the best part) The search was for "bukaki babes". Talk about disappointment! This dude was expecting to see some high-class porn, but instead got me. Sorry dude.

And now for something.

2005-07-11T23:46:00.000-06:00

Don't ask me why, but for some reason I've been thinking about cancer today. I'm not scared I have it, I'm not worried about getting it in the future, I've just been thinking about it.
This morning I saw a pink ribbon/magnet thing on the back of an SUV. Cool, I thought, these people care about women with breast cancer. As I got closer, I saw printed in the ribbon, "Survivor".
Not to be rude, or un-caring, (I saw two family members die a slow death due to cancer) but a "cancer survivor" is kind of an oxymoron.
With a few exceptions, cancer is not curable. Yes, some times a cancer can be removed completely from a body, although it usually takes some of the body with it.
Most cancers, after intensive treatment, go into something called "remission". Remission is when the cancer has shown a shrinkage. (OK, I don't like the show, and for once I'm attempting to be a little serious, but go ahead and make a Seinfeld joke here.)
According to the Mayo Clinic, "Partial Remission" is cancer that has shrunk, but is still present. "Complete Remission", is cancer that is no longer evidenced in tests, scans and x-rays.
Partial remission cancer almost always recurs, and complete remission often recurs.

Maybe it's because it's knowing cancer took the lives of two people I love, maybe it's the booze, but it seems to me so called "cancer survivors" are just people that cancer hasn't killed yet.

Not to say that their cancer will be the thing that kills them in the end, but few can claim to be a cancer survivor until something else kills them. That's the only way to survive cancer for most people.
Once again, I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, but it just makes me a little angry.

No one knows what it's like to be the bad man.

The end of an error?

2005-07-06T22:53:00.000-06:00

RIP Slappy is Jebus, 2005- a little later in 2005. I can finally stop telling the story of how we got the name. Now the story will be, "Some cartoon said it once."

I haven't posted for a while because things have been more or less positive lately. The hospital is the proud new owner of a nice little guitar thanks to Cheers, SMB and a little luck, not to mention the fine folks at Budweiser, man that hurt to say. Not saying I don't like beer. Just that Bud is not really beer. I guess technically it is beer, but there's no heart, no soul. Yes, it's true that making a product that comes from natural products is hard to make taste the same from year to year, city to city, but every bottle of water I have ever drank also tasted the same. The big challenge in brewing is to make something that tastes great, so to bring down the risk, why not minimize the area that is the challenge, tiny taste means tiny chance to screw up.

The big show at the Heritage Festival was great. We achieved our main goal, entertaining our-selves. The people I talked to who saw it said we were the most fun they had the whole time. I feel good about that. BOJ and I were never out to stun the crowd with our musical mastery (as if we had any) just to entertain as many, or few people as possible. Many times we say "Only two or three people will get that, but man will they get it!" All I want to do is make people happy. It can be in the form of playing a song that makes them laugh, a song that touches their heart, or talking about a news article in "the paper". (and by "the paper" I mean "the paper" that I link to after every freakin' post) I do think that if we ever had to get serious about music, we could be one of the biggest things in town, but I'm happy to play the music we do now and make people laugh at our zany antics.

"And what's with the big fuckin' umbrella, Elmo!" The Lizard

Welvrig rules!

2005-07-02T00:45:00.000-06:00

Type "Welvrig" in a google search and guess what, I'm the only freakin' thing that shows up! It seems "TSA" ( "Twelve String Andy" in my case) is a super popular acronym. Who knew.
I guess I should be SHGTSA (Super Hell of a Guy Twelve String Andy), or maybe SBTSA (Sexy Beast Twelve String Andy). They're a little less used.
Of course TITSA (Twelve Inch Twelve String Andy) would be a more accurate description.

More of the same.

2005-06-28T22:42:00.000-06:00

I normally don't like calling kids under 16 names, but I work with a bunch of little ass-holes right now. I have to deal with nine kids who would like nothing better than the chance to stab me in the back with their pencil. Oh well, maybe some day they might look back on some of the things I said and maybe they'll decide that it could possibly be the right thing to try and make some sort of change for something that might be in the general direction of "better", maybe.
Not that I'll ever give up on a kid, but these ones have a very long way to go.
So not only are the clients rowdy, but we're short staffed. That's not so bad, I'll stay half an hour here, hour or two there. You'd think my employer would be happy to have such a hard workin' kind-a guy around. Like the guy who said "I don't think so", I don't think so.
I get an earfull every time I have to stay late. Take tonight for example. We had nine trouble lovin' kids to one 56 year old lady and one 6 month pregnant lady. Not to be a judge on any one's age, sex, or "condition", but that's not good. So doing what the person in charge, the "house nurse", asked I stayed about one hour and fifteen minutes over time. Not bad to help ensure the safety of staff and patient alike, but I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts (I don't know what that means, but SMB says it a lot) that I'll still get chewed out tomorrow.
It won't be a huge deal, not like some Heifer thing, but I'll have to leave early on Friday so the company won't have to pay me an extra $7.00 per hour for 1.25 hours.

So why should I have stayed? It's definitely not worth my time in monetary value. I don't think my extra time will "save" any person's life. I do it because of one thing most people now seem to lack.
Pride.

I am very proud of everything I do. I rarely cut corners or ask that some one else takes over one of my responsibilities because I believe every thing I do reflects on who I am. I care about my work, the people I work with, and the people I work around. Unfortunately not many others do. Let's take an example from the recent "unpleasantness". I work with some one who takes every possible way to do the minimum work and effort on her part. Recently I had to defend some of my actions involving her. I mentioned that any one who really cares about what they do will feel upset, to some degree, when people suggest they do things other ways. Her response was "I never care what people say!" Hmm, that's shitty on two levels.
One, never caring what people say means that you will never improve. I think every one needs an outside view on things to know as much as possible. Some people I may not trust, let's say Clark (just to choose a name). The things he says don't have an emotional response in me. I'll look at his points, consider what they mean, and if they seem true, I'll use his words to learn by. I'll never feel inspired by his praise, or down by his criticism. He lost my trust and respect long ago, but I can still learn from him. On the other hand, I have a great deal of respect for Mitch's opinions. When he says I did the right thing, or mentions that he's on my side, it means a lot. I do feel boosted when he says "Good job", I do feel down when he says he'd have done things another way. I know Mitch takes great pride in his work. In both examples, I have learned something.
Second, the things I do, I do because I believe it's the best thing. Even in the few times I later decided I was wrong, at the time I thought it was best. If some one says that what I did was in some way not the best, I usually get offended, not much, but as little. When a person doesn't care when they get corrected, they don't care about what they have done. Why worry about something you don't care about to begin with? Heifer takes no pride in her work.
In most cases, it mainly hurts the person with the lack of pride. When a mechanic does a crap job and the car breaks down again, that customer will never go to that place again and tell their friends not to go. That results in loss of business for the mechanic. In my job, a crap job means that a paranoid person becomes more paranoid. A person with trust issues becomes less trusting of everyone. People with anger problems get more angry. The main person to get hurt is the person you're supposed to help. Heifer's not after what's best, just what's easy.

What does this all mean? I don't know. I'm just some random dude putting his random thoughts on a page that has nothing to do with anyone but himself. Most people see this site due to a random choice of a button from some other page. I guess I'm just asking that people take some pride in what they do. I take pride in every choice at work, and every chord on stage. If you think I'm wrong, let me know. Depending on who you are, I'll put lots, or little thought into your opinion. Either way, thanks for the input.

If you are someone who has no pride, I feel sorry for you. None of your peers will ever truly respect you, you will never reach your potential, and you are a strain on the rest of your environment.

By the way, check out acrossroads.com for some sweet music, Slappy really IS Jebus, and regular daddy has been shown to be 32% more effective that big daddy.

Also, Dough rocks!

This shirt says a lot.

2005-06-27T01:04:00.000-06:00

Just so the record's straight, the shirt said, "If I can't sleep, no one sleeps." Some crazy assed drunk dude wanted to trade my Jager shirt for that thing. "Well, it is orange!" he said. "I promised my daughter a Jagermeister shirt." Drunk dudes sure give a guy a lot of stuff to blogg about, or at least a little stuff.

Don't ask me why...

2005-06-21T23:33:00.000-06:00

but I just have to post tonight. I really don't have anything to say, yet I need to type something.

More support came to me today form staff at work. One trusted person took me aside and said, "Sometimes the only reward for doing the right thing is having done the right thing." He made me feel like he had my back, in some weird kind of way. I thought it was just more kind words from people who knew the truth, but as it seems, it was just bracing for the upcoming storm. Not to long after that, Clark wanted to talk to me again. I guess he must have felt a little out of place having to admit that he was wrong and all. I got a whole new load of crap.

"Do you disrespect Heifer?" he asked. I told him I try never to in front of clients. "Do you think she's psychoblahblahblah?" (not really what he said, by the way. I just don't remember the word.) "I don't know." I said, not knowing if he just made up a word to test me.
"Do you think she has no insight to how people react and can't choose her battles?"
Well hells yes! As I said before, everything anyone does is a plot against her, in her mind.
"Well than, you disrespect her. That's something you need to take a look at and do your best to solve."

WHAT THE FUCK! Just because I see she can't treat people fairly, I have the problem? I guess we're back to square one.

Clark is a guy who is never happy until he puts someone down, much like Heifer. Clark, though is a supervisor. He is responsible for yearly evaluations of some of the staff. One guy (we'll call him Gary) just had his eval about a month ago. Very shortly after Gary's last eval, one of his responsibilities (we'll call it an interview) was changed to another position. Gary was no longer responsible for the interviews. This information was not updated on Gary's job description. During the most recent eval, Clark said to Gary, "You haven't done any interviews this last year, I'll have to mark you down."
"I don't do the interviews any more, Clark." said Gary.
"It says you do in this job description printed in 1985." (OK, I'm making stuff up now, it was really 1986.)
"Clark, you know that has changed." Gary said, trying to reason with Clark.
Than, against all that seems logical, Clark admitted that Gary no longer did interviews, but since the job description wasn't changed, he still got marked down for it.

Long story short, I'm just another victim of Clark's huge ego. Even though I thought I was safe yesterday, I was again the target today. I'm still right, but since I don't have power, I'm getting punished for making those with power look bad. In an ironic twist I feel the great support I got from staff when they first heard I was in trouble back fired and got me in more trouble because we were right, management was wrong. Now everything I do will get Clark's attention and he will do his best to find the smallest thing wrong and use it against me.
Soon I may get chewed out for clocking in on time. I can see it now...

"Our business counts on people being late so we don't have to pay them for the full shift, therefore saving money and bringing down the debt."

News everybody!

2005-06-20T23:51:00.000-06:00

I guess a lot of things can happen over a couple of days. Some how word leaked of my situation at work thousands of people, I mean figuratively, THOUSANDS of people can to my defense. The meeting today was more about Heifers lack of respect towards client and staff than my so-called "demonic plague of terror". (No one actually called it that, it just sounds cooler.) My position is kind of unique in that I work side by side with only one person, you gots it, Heifer. After a brief encounter with her, you might think, "She's not all bad, nobody's perfect.", but when given the time, you will see all the downfalls that a person who thinks they know everything, and acually knows very little, has. I guess that time has finally come for most of the other staff. Reports of mistreatment on her part flooded the supervisors, and now I'm not the crazy screw loose freak they thought I was. I'm now the crazy screw loose freak they never knew existed!
I guess that's the way I like things though. Nothing's better than making people think that I'm some kind of yokel, then right at the perfect point, flash my genius (which got me three days in jail once for frightening a Swedish bikini team and causing half a states worth of nuns to break their vows) and prove them wrong. Not that I like to prey on peoples emotions, but I love to take advantage of self-centered personalities and make them squirm. I don't want you to think that I feel I'm a superior intellect, I know I'm above average but I could never guess the question to "He clocked in with a record time with each of the 7 Olympic gold medals he won at the 1972 Munich games"

Thanks to all who supported me at work and on-line, unless of course your comments were sarcastic, than go suck a hind tit, ya hump!

Do the right thing, get in trouble?

2005-06-19T10:48:00.000-06:00

Where I work, most people are there because, for one reason or another, they have a hard time making the right choices in their life, and some times can't even make a choice based in reality. It's not always their fault. Yes, there is always a few people on hand that have made choices earlier in life that has had a direct impact on their current state of mind. Most of the time though, people I see have had no say in the matter. Whether it's an adult who's spent a life time in an up and down struggle due to "faulty wiring" in the brain, or a kid who's parents never taught them how to act due to a pre-occupation with drugs and/or alcohol, these people are just "stuck" with the problems, and hopefully we can help.
Having said that, most people I see are assumed to have an inability to make good choices. I know it, most of the other staff knows it, but one specific person never has, and I fear never will, get it. She thinks every inappropriate comment or lack of manners is a decision people make just to get attention or try to disrupt what ever is going on. Any kid who runs up to give a hug wants five, is after her. "I told her yesterday I don't like to be touched and now today she tapped my wrist to get my attention. Why does she want to bother me like that?!" this staff has been known to say.
That brings me to another complaint. Some people she's fine with giving a hug, or shaking a hand, others can't get within two feet and she jumps up and starts giving a speech about boundaries. She chooses only a few clients that she deems worthy and only puts effort into them.
This situation has bothered me for a long time. Every time I try to alert supervisors, they don't care. Every time I try to address the situation with her, she lies about what happened or gets up on her pedestal and try to preach to me how much better she is than me, and I'm the one with the problem.

Well, the last time she went on one of her power trips with a patient, a typical 11 year old girl with a couple of anger management problems, I had to say something. The girl was getting messed around with by a boy at the time, the girl asked several times for him to stop, he wouldn't so she gave him a little kick in the shin. I did say little, I'm not trying to downplay the situation, it was just enough force to make contact. This messed up staff, we'll call her Heifer, took the girl away from the group and put her in a small room with nothing but a window for staff to see her. The current politically correct term for this room is the "time-out" room. What happened to the boy you ask? Nothing. That's right absolutely nothing. Not even a "Hey man, maybe you shouldn't to that sort of thing in the future."
We work with the people only a very small amount of the time, the rest of the time sees other staff with them. I needed to let the others know that the situation did not need to lead the girl to a time-out room. I saw some one mistreated, and I thought the best thing to do was let the person working with her for 5-6 hours per day know she didn't deserve what happened and not to hold it against her. That staff was thankful for the info.
Flash forward about thirty minutes. My supervisor finds me and says we need to talk. "It's been reported the me that you're splitting on Heifer and looking for reasons to put her down, that's not acceptable." Stunned I ask where this came from. As it turns out, another supervisor, who wasn't even in the room when I was talking to the staff told her. I made my case, to deaf ears I might add, and now I've spent my whole week end thinking about the meeting I need to have on Monday with three supervisors and Heifer to discus my "problem".
At this point I don't care if I have future employment at that place. When the main decision making comes from people on power trips, not care of our clients, I don't need to be a part of it. During this meeting I plan to hold nothing back about the way I feel about any of the staff or supervisors. Knowing what I know about one supervisor specifically, this will not go over well, and I may soon be seeing my last days there. Again, if that is to be the case, I don't want a part of it.

So in close, fuck you Heifer, fuck you Stella, and fuck you Clark.

Also, if anyone drives a light blue Ford Taurus with the front driver's side bumper smashed in, you left your lights on.

Do you think they'll deliver a puppy?

2005-06-15T22:41:00.000-06:00

Once again, that is some thing I heard at work today. Some lady had the great idea that she was going to buy a puppy for her grand-son. The down side, people I work with aren't able to go places, like the mall for example, until they're no longer a client of my employer. She was sure that she could call up the pet store, tell them she wanted a tan female chihuahua, and they will send a van or something to my building. When I mentioned that the store would most likely not deliver a dog, her responce was, "A puppy is probaly 500 bucks, they'll deliver for that price."
That's funny on a couple of levels. First off, the store mentioned sell muts for close to $1,000 and I don't remember ever seeing a pure bred dog with in their walls. Second, some innocent person at that store was going to get a call something to the effect of, "I'd like a puppy delivered to (name of business here) in about two hours."
If you don't know where I work, I'm sorry that you didn't get perhaps the funniest thing ever posted here. Let's just say the place rhymes with bike sword.

In other news, you lovely readers just set a new record in the vote. That's right, three people have already voted on the poll. I wasn't even getting tired of seeing the usual two votes yet.

I could use a car!

2005-06-10T00:13:00.000-06:00

As I was driving by a local bowling alley, a fella walked behind a car. I thought for sure he would continue to the drivers side and hop in. Not so. About two steps too late, he stoped and turned around to soak in the glory of a "for sale" sign in the window. Now, I know the story doesn't sound funny now, but at the time, it was the shiznite! DAS and I had a good ol' time thinking of all the things that guy could have been thinking. "Snap son, I've been meaning to get one of these." "This would make things much easier!" "How I wish I had a pencil and something to write on, man."
You should have been there, really man, I called all day. No one answered!

Today also brought a top-o-the line lawn mower to my home. Not only did I get a good deal at the local home improvement store on the mower and many other nice things, but I got to be rang up by a cute asian clerk. "You fin-a evry-tin ok?" "I have now!", I said. Not really, but you don't know that. I should have busted out my sweet engrish skills. "Me find super grass cutting whirl blade of death much to my pleasing. I am disrespectful of shaggy turf and weeds of many kinds." (I mean that in the best way possible. Cute asian + engrish = time to change shorts.)

Let's see, who else can I offend tonight? How about those lepers? Just the slightest criticism and the fall apart! No, really, they go to pieces!

These poems are hard!

2005-06-08T22:57:00.000-06:00

You heard it right. "These poems are hard." That's what I heard a guy say tonight. I don't know how serious about poetry he was, but all I can say is I hope it was a joke.
As you know, being the faithful readers you are, I don't care much for the whole poetry thing. It seems like a big front to me. People wearing leather pants and silk shirts always seem to write about being poor. Fat people write about starving due to their parents being unable to buy food. Whitey writes about being put down by the man. You get the idea.
Did this guy have anything even close to being meaningful? I don't know. I do know that he has an internet connection and a thesaurus. When you can't pronounce the words you wrote down in a poem, something fishy is going on.

In other news, lick it, lick it, kiss it, suck it, lick it, kiss it, kiss it, suck it, lick it.

Also, I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to blogg that.

Finaly, why ain't you votin' bitches?

Hey, wha' Happened (part 2)

2005-06-06T02:16:00.000-06:00

So I know this guy, we'll call him BOJ. He shares a lot of the same moral standards as me, a lot of the same musical interests as me, and one web site as me. For the sake of argument, we'll call it "The Globex-Corporation Newsletter". Lots of people check it out for the political side of things. Most people see that site due to some affiliation with one party or the other. I see the site as a chance to make some funny jokes about the head-lines. (Yes, I think every joke told should end with the Joker saying, "That was a funny joke!")
On this site there is a link to my humble little blog. Right now about 90% of my hits are from the BOJ site. All I can say to those people is that I'm sorry my blog isn't the political fire storm you hoped to see. Hey folks, life is a series of down endings, get used to it.

What did we learn from this? Photo Shop is a medium for humor, hard core politics is bound to lead to disappiontment, and clicking a link on a web site is almost sure to lead to porn. I don't know how that last one made it to the list, but it's true.

This blog is just a place for me to get the crazy crap out of my head so I can try to function at the funny farm.

I hope you like all the images I send to the news thing, but I don't care if you like my personal blog. Due to your up-tight political standings, I'm sure I'll make fun of you some day.

P.S.
Don't forget to vote, bitches!

CRACKERS!

2005-06-02T00:18:00.000-06:00

That was one of the first things I heard at work today. Those of you who know me will most likely get the idea, those who don't know me aren't looking at this page, so we're good.

I'd now like to give a shout out to OTJ who found a sweet deal on a rental house, SHOUT OUT! (I really should edit that later and pretend it never happened.)

Next on the list-o-meter is the open mic. What a great night. Not only were there people there, but they looked like they "got" the wacky things we do. They seemed to respect the musical side of the "act" as well. Tonight I felt Slappy is Jebus was the best musical/comedy act since Gary Mule Deer. (Man I hope this comes up on a search for Gary Mule Deer!) I also would have accepted Smothers Brothers, Tenacious D, Williams and Ree, or Milli Vanilli.

Since I can't think of any other words besides sex, boobs, chicks, butt, wang, clam, purple headed warrior, beaver, man marbles, lady berries, meat curtain, jimmy junk, john thomas, shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits to whore some hits, I'll call it a night.

Can fake money buy happiness?

2005-05-29T19:16:00.000-06:00

I don't know, but I sure do get un-happy when I loose it. Well, not quite, I get un-happy when I loose it to hands that I shouldn't have betted on. Oh well, I'll just have to wire in a few million from my fake Swiss bank account.
I have to admit, I'm a little jealous of BOJ's never ending success in the hits due to cool search engine queriers. So in an attempt to shamelessly advertise some hits... teeth, plaque, conspiracy, Metallica, and Justin Timberlake.

5-30-05 2200 EDIT: Changed Metalica to the more correct Metallica. Maybe I should be less incorrect next time.

Doc, will I ever be able to blog again?

2005-05-25T19:52:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been a while. Why, you ask (Come on man, ask. You're making me look bad.) I'm not sure. I seem to have worked my self into a three week funk that I can't shake. Well, let's hope it ends soon.

Soon, the jack will come rollin' in...

2005-05-07T13:07:00.000-06:00

and that's what I'll be rollin' in, jack!

Just a few hours until the much missed "Official Poker Game of the Globex-Corporation Newsletter" and I'll make a bold prediction. The person who gets all the chips will be the winner. You heard it here first!

So it's been a while...

2005-05-06T23:54:00.000-06:00

Just thought I should blog again.

April blizzards bring May lizards?

2005-04-27T09:16:00.000-06:00

I wake up this morning to, if not a blizzard, a nasty snow storm. WHAT THE FUCK!

It must be prom night...

2005-04-23T23:58:00.000-06:00

Walgreens was out of condoms.

Just kidding folks. I buy mine online, you know the place, willywraps.com, "Below average prices for above average guys" Never heard of it? Well I guess that says a lot about you.

Just kidding again. Or am I?

Acording to DAS it was prom night because all of the nice young kids at Walgreens were all dressed up. I'm pretty sure he wasn't buying condoms, but who knows. All I knows is somes of the times I wear three. Another thing I know is he wanted to get a clock. That shouldn't be hard, but it was. It was a nice clock, had a couple of hands, some nice numbers, a slick "Eat at Joe's" logo in the background. It also had a neon light around the face, well a broken neon light around the face. He attempted to take it back, but the one other clock of its kind also had a broken light. Thanks a lot Uncle Charlie (that's what we called the Walgreens company back in the pharmacy) you sure know how to run a business.

In other news, my puppy sould have been made yesterday or today. It won't be long before the pitter patter of little paws graces my house. Then it won't be long after that that the smash crash of a big ass dog will be terrorizing the neighborhood.

The Official Poker game of the Globex-Corporation news letter was once again put on hold tonight. About one third of the usuals are in the Twin City area. Oh well, with my two wins and now the extended reign over the by-week, I think I'm officialy the most winning person in the game. Maybe I should retire early and put my fake dollars to work for me. Maybe buy some fake pro spot team, like the Phoenix Coyotes. (SNAP!) I'm accualy a big Yotes fan. I'm just not a fan of the nick name "Yotes" or of the state of hockey right now.

It sure was sad to have to see the whole season lost. (Man, was that a big stretch to get to talking about hockey, or is it just me?) Lots of things make me a little sad about hockey though. Like how many of the great hocky cities have lost teams due to the money side of sports. The Quebec Nordiques, Winnepeg Jets (now Phoenix), and Hartford Whalers are just a few examples of how money can ruin a good thing. Speaking of good thing, Martha Stewart is... never mind, I got nothing. Just trying to make another big stretch.
I guess I'll just have to keep cheering for another fake team ,the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Oh ya, I almost forgot. I made a new line for the Smothers Brothers song about what their old man did for a livng. Here it goes,
"My old man's a gangsta', whad'ya think about that?
He wears gangsa' shoes, he wears a gangsta's hat.
He has gangsta teeth, he wears gangsta clothes,
And when he gets home at night he does his gangsta' hoes.
And some day, If I can,
I'm going to be a gangsta', just like my old man."

Wow, it does feel good to be a gangsta!

2005-04-18T09:41:00.000-06:00

I some how won two weeks worth of fake money. I guess this is a progressive thing now. Any fake money not won will go to the winner of the next game, so sorry BOJ, being the two week champion thing just gave me more time to break record for biggest fake dollar amount in a single win.

The other thing seems to be going well. I'm begining to accept that, unlike my previous experience, I won't be punished for every look, word or breath that isn't exactaly how she wanted it. Unless of course I've been perfect for the past couple of weeks. I think that's it, I'm just peerfekt.

Open mic was not a failiure, what ever that means. TIM (accualy his name, but I can't think of a three letter nick name right now) and CCG got to hear a few songs. The past few weeks we had to play before they got there. It seems one of the local bars is recruiting their drunkest drunks to act as tallent scouts. I'm not for certain, but I thinks he wants to record us with his Mr. Microphone. Thanks RonCo, this could be our big break!

Where's the KABOOM ?

2005-04-16T01:07:00.000-06:00

There's supposed to and Earth shattering KABOOM!

Well two down, one to go. What's that mean? I'm not sure.
Maybe it's just because for the last couple of years any glimps of success has been short lived at best, but the better I feel about the events happening, the more I know it's just a set up for failure.

Part of me says "Stop now while it will be easy to forget", but part of me thinks this could be something great. I get the same feedback at work. The "lucky" few who I feel comfortable enough to share home my home life with aren't much help. PTH, who's son is going through the same crap I delt with, says to avoid all women at all cost. OTJ thinks this is a great chance to score. (By the way, PTH is a middle age woman, and OTJ is a girl my age, what ever that means.)
OTS (I love these three letter code name things) just recomended I not do the "phony stretch to arm around girl" move. Dang, I was sure that one was a winner.

About all I know now is that every single day for the past year and a half, it's hard to stop thinking about all the shit I had to go through with my ex-wife. Those thoughts have slowed over the past week. Tonight, the first I thought about them was as I began this paragraph. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

Did I do the right things tonight? I may never know. I don't know if the right thing is to walk away, or try to get closer. It's kind of like the old P-957 days when we all felt much more comfortable with people not liking us. When we took the stage to the the cry of "Those guys suck!" we knew it could only get better. We knew we didn't suck, but the fewer people who also knew, the better. Any time I heared positive feedback, it was just pressure to live up to someone's expectations. Again, I wish that what ever I do to make this person hate me will happen soon so I can be done with it.
Otherwise, I may have to settle for being happy for the rest of my life.

Can he do that?

2005-04-14T22:54:00.000-06:00

Yes I can!

Hey, wha' happened?

2005-04-11T10:48:00.000-06:00

WARNING!!
The following post may contain positive statements and/or hopeful innuendo.

Due to some readers having insider infrmation on the subject, I must be breif. I never thought I'd have to say that, well I guess I don't realy have to now, but it sounds better.
Certain events took place Saturday that sent my e-motions all over the place. For most people none of it would pose any problems, but for me, this was a huge hurdle to clear.
I like to have some what of a plan in most every thing I do. Some times the plan is to have no plan, but that in itself is a plan. While getting into my car Saturday afternoon, I realized I had no plan. I had no previous experience to even plan not to have a plan. Once again, most people wouldn't see too much trouble in this, but I went into my controled panic mode. Most of my mind told me to just stop, don't go. If I back out now, nothing gained, but nothing lost. (Insert mental image of Cameron talking himself into going to Ferris Bueller's house.)
Well, as I'm sure all of you know, I went. I spent most of the lunch half off my chair because I felt I was going to puke at any second. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I don' know (I get those confused) it was not from the mild cold I have been suffering from all week, it was the result of panic from not having a plan. After that we went back to my place and just talked for a while. That's when I started feeling more comfortable. Maybe it was because David was home, or maybe after talking during lunch and getting to know "her" a little better, some of my fears about why I'm feeling attracted to this person and choosing to spend my time with her were quickly going away. A little while later we went to eat again, this time with David and Corrin, then back to the house to enjoy the Clerks animated series.
I don't know how she felt about the day, but I was quite pleased with everything. I'm sure I breached some sort of "dating etiquette" at least once, missed signals, talked too much, mabe too little. Maybe I sat too close, maybe too far away. I have absolutely no clue what the hell I'm doing. The only thing I was sure of was to zip up my fly atfer using the bathroom. (God, I hope I remembered to zip up my fly!)
Will any thing more come of this? I don't know. All I can say is she never seemed too discusted with me. I didn't get slapped and she didn't leave at one of the many chances. I guess that's right where I need to be right now. Maybe we should ask the audiece who they chose. If it was one of the others, the producers will pay for a date. No matter what, I'm feeling like a better person, and the least that could come from this is finding a realy cool friend.

Stay tuned until next time when I find out she realy hated every second and I can get back to my normal posting.

Why not?

2005-04-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

For some reason HBO has been showing a lot of George Carlin in the past week. I always have enjoyed his comedy, but now, I'm not laughing as much. I'm not sure exactaly why.
Some things crack me up. Some things I agree with. My house is a place to put my stuff while I go out for more stuff. Other peoples stuff is shit, but my shit is stuff!
But now, I don't quite get the joke. "There are adds for water. Is America so dry we all need our own personal supply of water?" No, city water is so contaminated that clean water is a luxury. The government accualy puts poison in the water so inner-city slobs have a small chance to have healthy teeth. Flouride should be a choice, not a punishment.
"What the fuck is the fuck about the shit that fucks with the God-damned shit!!??" If an old guy cursing made me laugh, I would go to work five days a week. Oh, wait...
Don't get me wrong, I think what the guy has done is great. He shoved when some one needed to push. But it all seems like an over-rehearsed gutter talk, trash talk, street talk, swearing, cursing, cussing, potty-mouth, slang, foul, in-decent, offencive, improper, inseemly, crude, lude, rude gimmick who's time is up.

Nagga-nooch!

WTF!

2005-04-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

I was going to post a log tonight, but I guess not.

I don't think so!

2005-03-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

There's a lot going on right now that is being done in the name of God and religion. It seems to me that the people who claim to be the most religious are accualy the least.
A local musician by the name of Willy Grigg has some great pionts in his songs and ways of life. To quote some of his lines in one of my favorite songs, "Jesus loves the drunken loosers, Jesus love the drug abusers... why don't you?" He also one time told a crowd that he has nothing against Christianity, it's just the Christians that make him mad. I have felt that way for a long time.

Chris·tian
adj.

Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus's teachings.
Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.
Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.
Showing a loving concern for others; humane.

One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it would seem that to be a Christian, one should make every attempt to be like Jesus Christ, not God. To quote Willy again, "Jesus never killed a man, why do you?" To claim killing some one because God hates them is not at all Christian. Check out the adjective definition #5. Showing a loving concern for others, humane. No matter what God may or may not have done to people according to the Bible, that same book says that Jesus had compation for every person he met. Why didn't Jesus kill homosexuals? Why didn't he go knocking on doors to kill the frist born in every non-beliving house hold? Why didn't Jesus pass judgement on every one? IT WASN'T HIS JOB!! It's not ours either. For any "Christian" to do those things makes that person no better that any of the people that worship at the church the "Christian" thinks is the worst. I heared it all the time as a kid. "Never talk to (insert church other than your parents), there accualy Devil worshipers!"

This brings me to my next point, the phrase "playing God" is one of the most over used excuses for any thing a person disagrees with. Why is ending the life of a person in intense pain and suffering with no possible chance of ever getting better playing God, while keeping the same person alive by the use of all kinds of modern equipment possibly causing more pain and suffering is some how the moral thing to do? No one wants to make a choice on if a person lives or dies in any circumstance, but when someone has no chance for anything resembling what would be seen as a "life", keeping that person alive is one of the most selfish things anyone could to. They want to go to coffee with friends and have them say "I just don't see how you can do it, you're so strong." Then later that day they can go to the hospital and pretend their loved one can hear them, "All the people I know pray for us, aren't we lucky?" They have some pain in their daily lives, but at least they won't have to arange a funeral or sit and remeber back when their loved one was still "alive".
Maybe that's a little harsh, but I guess that's just the way I feel. If I ever get to the piont where hardware is needed to keep me alive, I'll know my time is up. I don't care if it's something as little as a pace maker, or as much as full life support. Remember the definition from a litter back? Showing a loving concern for others; humane. Some times the most love you can give someone is to let them go. Christians beleive in a place called Heven, getting there is one of the ultimate goals. If I ever need life support, and my family "pulls the plug" they will not be killing me. What ever the cause that God arranged to put me into life support will have killed me. They will just be allowing me to reach my final goal. Why do all you can to stop someone you claim to care for from doing the same?*

*Maybe not.

Flippin' Idiot!

2005-03-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight I transfered my IPA into the secondary fermenter. Every thing went fine as usual. When I started to clean the primary, a little article I read about the use of bleach as a cleaner popped into my head. It said that one table sopoon of bleach per gallon of water will clean a fermenter in no time. Well sure enough it did. In just about ten minutes, my carboy looked as clean as the day I got it, with almost no effort on my part. I brushed it a little just to make sure, then rinsed, and rinsed again. Then came more rinseing. I've heared that a guy should rinse bleach soaked items until no bleach smell is evident. After about ten times filling the carboy with about 1.5 gallons of my nice contaminated well water, shaking like a mad man (and I should know) and draining, I still think I smell beach, not to mention that the botom of my work pants now look like I've walked through mud with them. I think from now on I'll just use the scrub like a mad man (and I shou... you know) method. This is giving me flash backs about working at the gym in Mesa and getting bleach all over me on a nightly basis.
And now for something compleately different. And I think I'll mention the open mic. And Shawn was sick, so I didn't get to see him for two weeks now. And it started out crazy slow again. And I don't have a flippin' clue why it's getting slow again. And, maybe it's just my diluted mind, but I think BOJ and I got more attention than most. And I think it's because of the pure filth that he and some others have written. And don't ask me why but I think the raunchier the song, the more a bar likes it. And too bad we can't do most of our "hits" at Dunn Bros. And and they also won't work so good at the Heritage Festival.
Thank God that's over. If your wondering about the unusual break in my anal (he, he, I said anal) grammar, well you must not be Doug.
Have a home brew natch!

Ever go out and treat your self to a Miller Lite?

2005-03-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

Easy answer, no. Complicated answer, no but I've got some other crap to share.
Don't ask me why, but tonight I put in an "e-resume" with JPL. Yes, that JPL, the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. I'm not expecting an interview any time soon, or not so soon for that case, but I just want to be able to say, "I once aplied for a job at JPL, yes that JPL."
If I do hear back, what the hell, I just might entertain an offer.
Tonight I think I also found my "special purpose", no not that special purpose.
I spent the most of my life trying to make one person happy. Many times that ment putting my happieness aside, but I thought it was worth it. Well, a little over a year ago, that person betrayed me so bad that I still wonder how I'm stll alive to be haunted by the memories. To say I hit rock bottom would be an under statement. You know the stuff that grows under rocks? Well I was the stuff that it fed on.
That lasted for a long time. I'm still not recovered from the things that happened.
I keep thinking that if only I could find another person to dedicate all my energy to I would be happy again.
Maybe that's not why I'm here. Today at work I had no less than four people mention how much I've had an impact on their lives. Three of them are total stangers who I will most likely never see again, one is some one I care deeply about. If I can help, even a little, any person I meet, I guess I'm living a good life.
The thing I'm afraid of is that if I was ment to help many people with their problems and well being, I'll never be able to find the one person who can help me. A guy can only focus efforts on a certain number of people at a time.
I see about 150 people per month who need help. Not all of them admit they need help, but they all need help the same. I try to give every one as much of me as possible. Even with the ten to fifteen other people I work with, that's not always enough. I don't know if I'll ever be able to put in the dedication needed to please 150 strangers and one "partner". I seem to have failed with the one when I didn't even need to worry about the others.
No matter how hard I try I don't think I'll be able to be truely happy with out one person to focus on. Maybe that's just not in store for me.
Maybe it's like my tastes in nice beverages. Instead of one Guinness, I should look forward to a treat of five Miller Lites.

Chairs are good for sitting.

2005-03-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

So as most of you know, my computer isn't the most accessible thing in the house right now. I'm quite proud of the 15 minutes of work I've put in so far. Usualy I get some sort of pain after just 3 or 4.
Any way, I was looking into some new skins for the log, and it seems I've found another group of people to list as phonies and over dramatic freaks, web log skin designers. I found a site that claims to have 20,000 skins, I didn't have the time to verify that number. As I'm looking around at the various styles and creators, something starts to bother me. First off, most of the descriptions had discusting attempts at week philosophy.
"I used pinks and purples to give it a sun set feel, and lightning to capture my hatred of my little sister." Good idea bizno.
"I made this skin after a friend of three years betrayed me to get a better grade. Needless to say, she's not my friend any more. I hope it reminds all of you to watch out." Thanks for the warning Dr. Phil.
It seems most of them were "inspired" by an event so powerful, that the creator had no other choice than to put a copyrited picture next to some boxes for the inserting of type.
That leads me to my next point. Almost every entry had a heart felt plea from the designer not to remove credit for the work.
"I spent a lot of time on this and I deserve recognition!" I can see that, I guess.
"Removing my name implies that you made this skin, that's illegal." Hmmm.
"Upload pics to your OWN server. Linking to mine is stealing bandwith, and is illegal. If I catch any one linking to my server, I will kill your mothers, or something close to that." Hey, maybe a little less crack would do you good.
Remeber a few lines back when I mentioned the part about copyrites? Well the vast majority of design on this site included at least some pics of movie stars, musicians and or rap singers, famous paintings, and cartoon characters. Yet, not a single skin I saw had any sort of information on crediting the people who own those images. I guess it's just another case of "I'll stop at nothing to prevent anyone who want's to take what I have purloined!"

Steven Blanchette 1978-2005

2005-02-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

When I got into work Friday, I ran into a little bad news. A friend of mine had died in his sleep some time Thursday evening. The first thing that crossed my mind is how a guy less than a month older than me could have this happen. This kind of thing is supposed to be for folks twice my age.
After that I was rushed with all kinds of memories, some good, some a bit less than good. We had little comunication over the past few years, I'm OK with that, these things happen. I'm not upset that we'll never have new experiences together, but knowing that I'll never be able to talk to him about things that happened in the past seems to be messing me up a little.
When my family moved to Rapid City, it was the summer before I started kindergarten. I was doing a little reserch in the new back yard, when some little dude showed up on the other side of the fence. "Hey kid, what's your name?" Well, I must not have had the time for idle chat because my reply was to turn and piont to the "ANDREW" printed on the back of my shirt. Little to my knowlage, young Stevie wasn't what you might call a reader at the time. "I said what's your name!" A near sighted young fella? I'm sure thats what I was thinking. So, I walked up to the fence and turned around again, thrusting the appropriate appendage nameward. A few seconds later he went stopming back into his house, spouting out words that up to that point I've only heared rumors of existing. That was that. A wonderful friendship was inevitable. I could go on for ever about stuff like that, how we had our first beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon of course, our first drag of cigareet, Old Gold, and our first time puking outside while standing next to your friend. The guy was so nice he even smuggled me my first porno, Swank, from his brother. Wait, this guy is begining to sound like a real dick.
Oh well. Good times and bad a like, he will be missed.

Is this thing on?

2005-01-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I've got internet again. I've moved and have been with out the "web" for about two weeks until now. Cable TV has been down during this time as well. I have to say that I don't like cable as much as I thought I did. Maybe it's because I've been spioled by Direct TV for the past few years, getting all the shows early. (Mountain time zone is kind of left in the dust as far as TV schedules go) Maybe TV shows have all gone to crap. My usual rutine is fliping between Cartoon Network, Boomerang, and one of the Discovery networks. Now I don't have as many Discovery networks, and no Boomerang. The two weeks sans-cable were spent watching DVD's of movies and television series. I also spent more time doing non-TV related items. Maybe this is a clue that I should do away with as much TV as possible. Maybe it's a clue that modern TV just plain sucks. I don't care who wants to work for Donald Trump, I don't care for the current music scene, I realy don't care what happens when people stop being polite and start being real.
I care about love, I care about happieness, I care about the well-being of the people that I choose to be around.
I saw a high-school senior the other day, she seemed like things were going well for her. Nice clothes, good shoes, drove a nice car. She was reading some poetry. The theme to the three things I heard was death and depression. It had all the classics, "My cold, dark heart beats cold, dark blood because I live in a cold, dark place. The cold, dark hand of Death is near my cold, dark body. I dream of the day I reach a cold, dark end."
Not that I think she has a perfect life, but WHAT THE FUCK!
People are so eager to portay how hard life can be that they forget to remember the good things they have. "Yo, man. I grew up in the hood." Ya, the hood under your ninety-eight dollar and seventy-one cent sweater that your mom bought for you!
People think that pain and suffering are the only way to be inspired. Every one has moments that bring them down. Why would you want to force made-up pain into your life?
Poetry and music should come from the heart. If you get pissed off and depressed because the maid didn't fold the laundery just the way you like it, or the family's personal chef burnt your toast use that. Don't try to tell people that you grew up with no clothes and no food.

When I was young, I couldn't control my body very well. I was locked in a place that was just barely bigger than I was, with no way to get out. I had no light, no running water and no solid food to eat. For most of my life up to that point I was also blind. I needed an out-side system just so blood could flow threw my body, but than one glorious day, my mother gave birth and things have been up-hill ever since.

Playing is for Pleasure!

2005-01-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how cool it was to see GF-1 on stage again after only one month of recovery. It will boggle my mind for some time how the guy can go from opened up with some ones hands on his insides, to performing infont of a usual "dis-interested" crowd at Cheers. Not that I'm saying the clientele there is a bunch of drunken hicks, but you tend to see a lot of hats, you know, big cowboy hats.
In the defense of fans of Crown Royal every where, Cheers is not the best place to see music. The only seats that give you a clear view of the stage are right infront of the speakers. I tried one of those seats the last time ASO played, that lasted about 5 minutes. Not that I don't like the music, but I have a hard time signing "One Guinness please".
I have to say that you can't beat the staff there though. There's nothing like already having a drink at the table before I can get my coat and hat, you know, small knit hat, off and sat down.

Let me change gears now. That friggin' bizno I work with claimed to be sick from Friday until today. Having no weakend coverage made things a little crazy (get it BOJ? CRAZY!!) Well when she got in today she seemed quite shocked when the Boss asked to see a Docs note that she needed three days off. If stupid were taxed this chick would be on welfare! This is the EIGHTH time in less than a year that she has claimed to be sick. I always knew it was fake, but this seals it. She has never brought in a slip from a Doc to say that time off was needed. Even that time she took a day off due to "bronchitis". You would think that working in a hospital you would know better than to come into work on Monday fine, call in sick Tuesday, show up Wednesday fine, and say you had bronchitis. It's times like this that make me think of what old Jack Burton says, "Where'd you get that?"

Enough about me, how about you? How've you been? (Choose one) Good to hear!/That's too bad.
Why so? (Choose one) SWEET!/It began to spread?
What's going to happen now? (Choose one) Hells yes! Count me in!/At least you weren't planing on having kids.

a blog is a terrible thing to waste

2004-12-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

I've lost one of my only Joys in an otherwise Polmolive life. SMB has quit his job as "a-ok number one super cool writter of funny laugh blog" for the ASO/Engrish web site. I don't know how long this "quit" will last, but the first victim has already been claimed, the blog its self. Some dick from New York city tried a blog that, in my monitor, blew worse than Chernobyl (April 16, 1986). I think my views have been expressed already by folks not as reserved as my self, but how the crap is some shmuck in NY going to inform me about the band?
"12-30-04.. Got the fat check from the lads (he thinks using Shawn's words will make him more welcome, I guess) I'm riiich beeach!"
So in memory of Shawn's blog, lets all bow our heads and do a little "Hip-Hop Santa" dance.

Four score and seven beers ago...

2004-12-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

Ya, I know I haven't been the most diligent blogger. So what. I bet you only brush your teeth for 45 seconds instead of 2 minutes (like me) that the ADA recomends.
So what happened? I played some tunes, for about 30 seconds one night BOJ was my only crowd, I drank some beer, mmmmm beer, and I worked with some crazy ass mo-fo's.
While at the Bin I did hear a good question, "Can any one ever hate Christmas so much that they have to change religions?" I don't know my friend, I don't know.
I've mannaged to unknowingly attract two more teen-age stalker types. Job related? Yes. Any less disturbing? No.
Finaly...
Fo' shizzle me honkizzle, croutizzle, barbizzle, wit da' bratizzle 'n beer, yo. Uh!!!
Word to your mother.

Nothing Comes to Mind

2004-12-07T00:34:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while, but not like any one reads this.
Today I went to see my friend in the hospital. I knew that a dude just off the ICU due to multiple heart attacks over the past two weeks, an alarming five bypasses and massive artery blockage isn't going to be the snappiest looking guy in town, but it sure was a shocking experience to walk in and see him with no less than four IV's and oxygen hooked up in various places. For what he's been through the past few days, I guess he couldn't be better. We had good conversation, only a couple of times the topic wondered off. I don't know if it's good or bad how well he could function with all that morphine running in him.
The strange thing is, I go 95% of my life with out much thought or contact with him. Once, maybe twice per week is all I see of him, but when I heard of his situation, it hit me how much I've been influenced by our minimal interaction. I owe so much of who I am now to knowing him. With out any effort on his part he has given me un-measurable amounts of courage and self-esteem. I'm not saying that he's the only one responsible for this, I've met many people over the past year with-out who I would most likely not be alive today, but when I saw a friend surviving under the worst odds it really made me feel like a jerk for ever thinking any of the temporary things I've been through were enough to stop living.
I've been told many times that I'm a few roses short of a dozen, but thanks to Gary and Janice, I'm that much closer.

Slappy is Jebus!

2004-11-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Just for the record, that's Slappy is Jebus. The "is" is italic, so when you say "is" you have to put a "Pig Vomit" style emphasis on it. I wonder if I could use any more "quoty things" in the first three lines of my "blog"?
So the open mic was a hit again. Last week re-gained some of the steam that was lost back on Halloween. I think there was a record number of people that played. A whole band even showd up, drums and all. It was cool that two people, neither of whom the drums belonged to, asked to play with Blind Orange Julius and me. Not that I'm complaining, or saying that the two guest stick flickers were bad, but not being used to hearing drums while I play, most of the time instead of thinking about playing guitar, I was thinking more along the lines of "What the hell is that guy doing to those drums?" An interesting side note to any drummers out there, try playing while sitting in a puffy bar chair with realy good castors.
TOA was on hand and in his usual style made sure no one would leave the place with out thinking he's the biggest thing in the western hemisphere. All I can do is think about the P-957 days and quote Paul Bellini, "Thank God that's over!"

Random Complaints

2004-11-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I work with this stupid bitch that has the most annoying traits a human could have. She can't chew with her mouth closed, she coughs and sneezes up all kinds of crap on a constant basis, she's one of the most opinionated people I know, she has zero boundaries, she's a know-it-all who doesn't know jack, she works in mental health and has no respect for any patient. Any person who works mental health has to have a certain amount of sympathy for the patients. No one chooses to have mental health issues. I work with a lot of adolescent patients who are in the hospital for no reason of their own. Their parents are drug using stealing wastes of flesh, and the kids have to suffer their poor parenting skills. Almost every day I see kids as young as 7 years old who are victims of rape, abuse, and second had drug use. I see innocent souls who need to know that not all adults are out to get them and that life is more than being a person's play thing. She sees a kid who needs to be put away for life because they have anger managemen problems.
If I was in any of these kid's place, I would hate every one over 25 as well. No one, none the less a 7 year old kid, deserves to be treated that way.
Today she says, "He can't be in the recreation group any more. He can't sit still for an hour and color." The kid is 8 and has ADHD. A "normal" 8 year old has a hard time sitting still for any length of time. Throw in a
chemical in-balance and your lucky to have his attention for more than five minutes. If the kid needs to get up and run around every few minutes or so, let him do it! It's not hurting any one. All his problem won't go away because he finished a "Finding Nemo" coloring page.
She puts every one down every chance she gets.
The hospital has a 28 year old lady who saw her husband commit suicide by gun shot. Two weeks before that her newly born daughter died due to delivery complications. Needless to say, the lady doesn't want to leave her bed. "I don't get it," she cries, "Why wouldn't some one want to play a game of Uno?"
I have no idea how I have so much will power not to punch her in the fat
head every single time I see her.
On the bright side, all the other staff at the hospital ask me how I put up
with her crap all the time.
What a worthless piece of shit.

And we're off!

2004-11-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

I guess this is a good way to start my blog, it was my birthday today. I realy didn't care much until I walked into The Bin to the chimes of two co-workers and seven juvinile delinquents yelling "Happy Birthday!"
Last night was a great open-mic. (Every Sunday at Cheers I play music for the inebriated masses.) I met an old biker dude who's birthday was today as well. I drank way to much Guiness, not to mention the six shots of un-known liquors from the biker's table. I don't know how I managed to stand up-right today, none the less go into work and function as a "normal". On the lighter side of the night, I did get a little smoochin' from the cock-tail waitress I like so well. I know it's "sooo fifth grade" to tell a guy that he's a realy good kisser, but damn, it sure felt nice to hear it. Not to say I'm bad around the ladies, but the last time a girl showed interest in me, she turned out to be a lying, coked-up teen-ager with three kids. I guess I'm the perfect guy for a bi-polar, chemical dependant, borderline, paranoid schitzophrenic with "religious" issues about birth-control. Go me!
As a final note in tonight's blog, special thanks to Doug, Janice, David, Corrin, Gary, Shawn, and all the other regulars at Cheers for giving me hope for the future.

2004-11-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned. Details after your local news.